Remembering In Melbourne Tonight

two-thirds of our 15-year television

history albert watson newton has

cornered one particular market he’s

compared most of the big occasion

television shows what’s more he did it

while he was a featured artist on well

over 2000 editions of in melbourne

tonight ladies and gentlemen albert

watson newton

i think that was one of your uh one of

your better ad-libs i thought it was

beautifully red oh don’t you talk i

remember before you even learned to read

we’re all filmed

[Music]

the eclipse going

and we’ll get

everyone enjoys the gay life don’t play

barbecues and parties and dances and

things there’s one thing you must have

though when you go along to any of your

little parties and things you must wear

a glow-weave gay life

my darling my sweetheart

my

husband

my wife my goodness my revenge

my honor

[Music]

[Applause]

i like heinz i like haines i like kind i

like heinz they like heinz most

beautiful soup i’ve ever tried in my

life great soup for people like the soup

set only the best is good enough and the

best is heinz i like heinz

ladies and gentlemen bert newton and i

have been together in sickness and in

health

on radio on television

with gilbis and with gordon’s

until breath did his pound

for many many years and it’s indeed a

thrill to say here’s bird

[Music]

[Applause]

why are you like that oh i’m just on

your toes i am here get down there you

are hello hello great hi listen you’ve

been associated with this client for a

long time i have indeed i’ll let you do

it thank you very much i’ll move over

here good okay just think yes no okay

in ten years lots of changes have come

in television some people who started

off very thin

very oyster eyed

very very

terribly funny i’m sorry when does your

show start

a good question

don’t say oyster eyes because i get very

i get very we haven’t got oyster eyes do

the stuff

fish eyes

10 years

a brand new product to the market

on television rail merton shoes they’ve

been very kind to us over the years raul

merton

that’s the shoe that you saw and perhaps

wore in 1957

there’s been a great change in the last

10 years have a look at this one

see the change

a great change that’s a lot different

yes that’s amazing isn’t that what

they’ve done

look at the difference oh yeah

which is the one that’s uh that’s the

one and this is this is the new one this

is the new one that’s the old one oh you

can see what’s happened there what’s

that nothing very much

and we’d like to thank ron burton for

being so kind to us over the years and

providing us with money your values for

done good shoes too my word in 1957 was

very true to say of comfort you’re

certain when you were around merton in

1967 it’s even truer to say comfort

you’re certain when you wear a round

there you know uh long before

uh we could afford to have script

writers on the show bert and i used to

make up the fun ourselves and a lot of

it was unscripted unrehearsed and quite

often unfunny

well it was a year ago

and uh

this is about in an english film you

know just

at the best of times sometimes you can

you can’t tell exactly what’s happening

now

and uh

but this was the cockneys you know and

the

the man was a bird watcher he was

watching birds well it’s a pretty

dangerous occupation

and he’s watching

watching birds and he said bye jazz

there’s a torny pepper

and the fella said a tony pepe sir never

heard of it and uh you had to see the

film i think you can do a twenty people

can’t you i’d do the famous yellow

bellied tawny pippet do it

i would now like to do the yellow valley

[Music]

i’m still learning the male 1 is there

any difference between the female and

the male 1

quite a difference birdie but this uh as

far as i can get it is the tawny the

yellow belly dawny pippet female female

you can’t go straight you got to work up

to it well for goodness sake do it do

they take as long to do it

[Music]

though it’s it’s very quick

female i

i don’t care whether you’re doing a male

or a female it doesn’t so long as it’s a

tiny pivot with a yellow body

yellow yellow belly

a belly is body yes

[Music]

[Music]

ladies and gentlemen

bert newton

[Applause]

beautiful girl

[Applause]

beautiful gown

you’re a gorgeous mixture of all that

lies

under the deep blue skies

and my heart cries

beautiful girl

you’re a dazzling eyeful

beautiful girl i could never trifle if i

had you

you’d be my dreams come true

there may be blondes and brunettes that

are hard to resist

but you surpassed them like a queen

you’ve got those lips that were meant to

be kissed

and you’re over sweet sixteen

beautiful girl what a gorgeous creature

beautiful girl

let me call the preacher what can i do

but give my heart to you

there may be blunts and brunettes that

are hard to resist

and you surpass them

[Music]

you’ve got those lips that were meant to

be kissed

and you’re over sweet sixteen you’re a

beautiful girl

you’re a gorgeous creature

beautiful girl

let me call the preacher what can i do

if i give my heart to you

what can i do

but give my heart to you

and you

and you

are your old beautiful girls

[Applause]