The Graham Kennedy Show (1973)
The Graham Kennedy Show (1973)
Posted by Stay Tuned!
Transcript
0:00
this station has asked me to announce that the report of a bomb being planted
0:07
in Studio 9 here in the studio audience has been deemed a false alarm
0:12
so I’ll just say [Music]
0:22
from the Melbourne Studios of the channel 9 Network it’s the Graham Kennedy show
0:27
[Applause] and now here’s Graham
0:33
[Music]
0:41
thank you so
0:48
oh smoking is a health hazard oh that’s the last time I ever buy a
0:54
Croatian lunch box oh dear I feel as if I’ve just been to a Sydney gambling casino all the New South
1:02
Wales police are going to crack down on illegal gambling joints they’re calling
1:08
in police from the country areas to do this now most policemen who are former
1:14
cow cockies are not too familiar with two up they’re more familiar with Fordham
1:24
I’m a plain clothes policeman from gundagai and I’ve been on the job all
1:29
night well did you find any club with illegal gambling oh I did better than that
1:34
oh look what I found I must warn you that young lady is very doubtful
1:41
doubtful get out of it she’s a bloody certainty
1:47
constable do you realize just what that young girl is yes she’s a plain clothes
1:52
police woman from Albury oh I know no don’t no no they get better
1:59
some some Sydney gambling clubs have been operating for years up there but
2:06
have never been raided now this is not because they pay protection money perish the thought
2:11
no but because the gaming squad has lost its street directory
2:19
yeah the authorities the authorities are worried that the country police will not
2:26
be able to cope with the pace of Sydney’s nightlife yes this is a suspected illegal gambling
2:33
suspected a legal gambling use Plan B Plan B right
2:47
Hello darling oh hello oh isn’t it
2:52
I’m I’m from the country and I’m I’m looking for a little uh game oh then you
2:58
have come to the right place yeah come along dear oh just over there
3:23
thank you
3:28
[Music]
3:35
[Music]
3:43
George how long will you be
3:51
just a few shakes
4:17
by Jingo Joyce it’s called Down South
4:22
well why don’t you take the radiator down with you I did that yesterday did
4:28
you yes I accidentally settled Jolly near caused a Bushfire
4:39
Joyce I’ll tell you what me bum so tender
4:45
I could sit on a 20 cent piece and tell you the date
5:14
a bit of breakfast and you’ll soon forget about the pain Joyce where I feel
5:20
so the breakfast isn’t going oh Choice Joyce you can say this to me
5:26
and it’ll be very funny say this to me money can’t buy love say that why well
5:35
if you say that to me I will come back with a rejoinder which will have you
5:40
rolling on the floor in mirth bunny Camp I love it very well money
5:48
[Music] can’t buy love maybe not but give me
5:54
twenty dollars and let me do my own shopping
6:04
twenty dollars that’s what a pro charges
6:10
this is a funny one that one
6:15
here we go
6:22
that was a joke Joy if you say so dear
6:29
come on eat your breakfast
6:36
all right blister and blood oranges what’s that but what’s it look like
6:42
it looks like something you’d avoid in a cow panic
6:54
but I burnt it Joyce when I want to be the black Crumpet I’ll go to Africa
7:05
hiccup oh I’m not eating that George I put some soda I was thinking do you
7:11
yes Joyce I think you and I should have a second honeymoon
7:23
oh Joyce let’s have a second honeymoon now Joyce and I’ll do all the things you
7:29
wouldn’t let me do on our first one judge [Music]
7:35
the only thing that you do now that you didn’t do then is talk about it
7:44
a man’s ego let the sugar no you can shove your
7:52
sugar
7:57
talking about the holiday do you I I really do think we’ve earned when we
8:02
deserve a little holiday and I’ll tell you what I’ve saved enough money
8:08
yes Joyce have you been saving up yes oh Joyce will go to the casino in in rest
8:15
point we’ll go there and we’ll take the bridal suite and we’ll have breakfast in bed etc and there’ll be hell of a lot of
8:21
Etc and then we’ll go gambling every night playing Bert Bacharach and then
8:28
Blackjack and kick the tin and polish the Bane [Music] yes and we’ll Gamble and we’ll drink
8:35
champagne and eat good food how much have you saved
8:42
22.50 oh well we didn’t stay long at the rest Point Casino
8:50
if we do eliminate the butcher’s bill for a week or two yeah I’ll have 40
8:56
dollars I got it in the bank yes in the Esna the
9:01
esm yes what’s that stand for a yesterday I think that stands for Ernie sigley and
9:09
Abigail you are a dear old-fashioned Dean Joyce there hasn’t been an es and a for ages
9:15
it’s called the ANZ now it’s been a long time since you’ve put anything in
9:24
you should talk
9:30
[Applause]
9:35
about himself but we’ll have a holiday dear somewhere
9:41
won’t we we might go to Sydney Joyce we could stay with your sister sorry in
9:48
Flory Hills it’s me sister
9:58
the Flop always moved you know oh she keeps fitting about all over the place never stays anywhere for two minutes she
10:05
moves regularly see what I said
10:16
Chloe you know
10:22
he’s a big flyby nighty and what did you say she did
10:29
she’s moved again she moves very regularly
10:35
I wish the hell I could say the same thing I’ve been constipated now for about four months
10:49
oh hang on I think I know who it is that would be Mervin purpose it’s either that
10:56
or I’ve stepped in something
11:10
good yes Joy you were right dear it was Merv and Purvis what have you been doing
11:17
behind my back have you been flashing your hot bedroom
11:22
eyes at Mervin purple you filthy woman you want and woman you’ve been acting
11:28
like yes silly out poof
11:37
[Music] I’m trying to tell you something but you can’t get the word in edgewise mervin’s
11:44
got a new job oh what does he do he’s a sanitary plumber oh well I hope he
11:50
throws himself into his work do you know what he’s done George what’s
11:57
he done judge he’s giving us a couple of spare seats oh we’ve only got the one Danny what should we do with two Danny
12:04
seats now you got it all wrong as usual their seats for the theater to go to the
12:10
pictures send them back
12:16
but why David he may be a sanitary plumber with spare seats but he’s not
12:23
gonna make a convenience out of me [Music]
12:29
[Applause] [Music] [Applause]
12:45
ah yes that’s a pith helmet on night shift
12:53
that’s what that is
13:00
a bit stuck while I’m uh
13:05
getting rid of the last uh trappings of George
13:11
what I’m doing now young again
13:16
[Laughter]
13:24
younger again well I’m getting rid of George I’ll introduce yet another George
13:29
this time the lovely Linda George [Applause]
13:36
[Music] [Applause] [Music]
15:13
of the capture wasn’t in the paper
15:19
but you know they kill those smack right there
15:24
later you see the people were quite pleased [Music]
15:37
for the Undertaker when [Music]
15:46
It Go ES [Music]
16:15
hey yeah [Music] um
16:37
foreign was called
16:43
um smack water Jack have you heard that before neither have I smack water Jack Linda
16:50
George I’ve had um the Heckler people for sponsors or for more than
16:57
11 years on and off mostly of in fact just yesterday I found an old
17:02
picture of um Evie Hayes and myself selling Heckler appliances way back in
17:09
the LSD days that’s when Evie and I were both on LSD the currency that is not the
17:15
thing can we have a look at that picture [Laughter]
17:25
that’s Evie on the left and that’s a very young gay guy on the right that’s from a show about 12 years
17:32
ago of course I was only 13 myself at the time gosh if only that picture could talk
17:49
yes and we’re still selling Heckler appliances because they’re good buy Heckler they’re good
17:55
hot from heckler Vita Ray the infrared wall heater that’s
18:01
up and out of the way in kitchens and bathrooms and Heckler makes you warm so
18:08
cozy warm with wide beam Heat at the flick of a switch
18:13
electric blankets offer the best quality for money and more people by Heckler
18:19
than any other brand that’s right more people buy Heckler
18:24
because by Heckler it’s good thanks Brian oh yes it’s lovely Susie bring on the
18:32
band with a shampoo from seed [Music]
18:41
do you want to put new life in your hair then treat your hair to the wonderful care of seedl shampoos with three superb
18:49
shampoos seedl have captured Nature’s Own health and beauty secrets to help your hair find new softness and Sheen
18:57
oh [Music]
19:03
very good can I continue and whether your hair is oily normal or dry you’ll
19:09
find acetyl Health and Beauty shampoo just right foreign
19:18
what sort of bird was that I was a swallow [Laughter]
19:24
can I really continue that finish now finish with all the save one which I’m saving for the end
19:29
oh all right they gently cleanse while leaving just the right amount of oil in your hair for Natural Balance I can
19:36
assure you you’ll be really excited with the results and don’t forget to follow your shampoo with seedl hair conditioner
19:42
it contains unique ingredients that actually repair damaged hair giving it new life with more body and More Bounce
19:49
With seal care you look beautiful and feel absolutely great
19:56
thank you that was uh the lovely um seedl for pseudo uh the lovely the
20:01
lovely sue for this is the Graham Kennedy show
20:09
[Music]
20:20
you don’t have to own a boat to have a real thing about the very special chocolate taste of Brock off chocolate
20:27
Royals milk or dark Rock off chocolate biscuits always in good taste
20:35
laughs
20:44
[Music] yes they
20:50
really the languages yes this is a man with fish fingers teaching them to swim
20:58
I think our old toaster there needs a bit of work on it uh FM it’s our FM
21:05
there FM filthy Mangrove no foul mouth did really stand floor
21:13
manager you know there’s very little left to say about our next guest except a promise that for the next few minutes
21:19
you’ll probably laugh a lot ladies and gentlemen Brian Doyle [Applause] [Music]
21:26
[Applause] [Music] [Applause]
21:35
thank you very much good evening for those people who are in Sydney and still suffering from the power strike
21:41
there’s no need to worry about electricity because this show is brought to you by the makers of Fab so your set is lemon
21:47
charged foreign electricity we’d still be watching
21:54
television by candlelight when we’ll never do again anyway
22:00
it’s all been happening in Sydney now they’ve got all these strikes power strike they’ve got a beer strike
22:06
and Republicans are very worried they’ve got no beer they’ve got a telegram from the breweries in Melbourne
22:13
don’t worry take heart all you need is courage and the gambling casinos
22:20
the police commissioner Mr he’s very worried very annoyed not only at the backer up but the two up that’s what’s
22:26
really getting them he said not only have we got a shortage of policeman but every time they play a two up they throw two policemen oh god
22:33
I’ve ruined that gag I’ll start again every time they play two up they throw two coppers in the air
22:43
I think it was better if I’d have done it straight right no I’ve had a good week I’m not going to
22:49
complain because I I do the show at Abigail two weeks ago and I did I mean I said to Abigail
22:55
what’s your name she said Abigail no I said you know what’s your second name she said I’ve only got one I said not from where I stand
23:02
laughs she had this 12 12 changes of costume
23:07
and were in sharing a dressing room all his clothes in a big tea chest
23:12
I said look there’s not enough room you’ll just have to move your chest
23:19
no I am very happy tonight I really because channel nine have been very good to me they’ve signed me up on a contract and it’s waterproof it’s been written no
23:27
truly it’s been written on glad wrap they’ve given me a check for a thousand
23:32
dollars and they said I’m a good lab next year they’ll sign it you sound producer really Bob Phillips
23:39
he’s he’s mean oh God he’s mean he’s not just ordinary
23:44
mean he’s mean mean you know you know what I mean I mean he only took a fishing because he found out he had worms
23:56
yeah when I go about you know when you get married and and and they double up on presents you know
24:02
they I wish you were here when I did the bloody copper line I’ll do it you know the way they double up on
24:07
presents I got 11 11 electric toasters do you know what he gave me a slice loaf
24:14
you see he wasn’t always a television producer he used to work in a butcher shop and it was very sad he got his hand
24:20
in the bacon slicer and both of them got the sack
24:28
but he caught his hand in the bacon slicer and both of them got her sack
24:33
oh God why do they always sit in the front
24:39
last night he had he had a date this is true he had a date last night with Siamese he went out with Simon siamese
24:46
twins I met him today I said you have a good night he said yes and no
24:53
I shouldn’t really complain because I got in spite of the knowledge you know I’m I’m really I’m an old ladies man to
25:00
be honest I’m A desperate old ladies man that’s all I can get desperately
25:08
been married to one for four years now four years we’ve been married it’s unreal I borrow a dress as a wedding present
25:15
there’s a lovely red dress a beautiful red dress I don’t like it so what’s wrong with it she wanted black
25:23
fishes I always look well and black you know I always look well on black I fixed her taking her to New Guinea to be eaten by
25:29
a cannibal we’re going to celebrate she cooked a chicken a chicken I said it tastes very
25:36
nice what did you stuff it which is I didn’t have to there was a nice little plastic bag there already
25:42
she’s on a new kick now man she’s on a new she’s giving up Chinese food she’s on a new cake hippie hippie food
25:49
soul food soul food it tastes like an old boot man you want to see you know
25:55
everybody you know when you have a good meal you finish up with three things right cup of coffee cigar and a brandy
26:01
not in our house man we have a phone call in ambulance and a bloody stomach problem
26:07
started off a new thing you know abuse Brian that’s our hobby now you
26:13
know you walk around the house and you’re on the pants that’s a hot day
26:18
what would the neighbors say if I walked around like that they’d say I married you for your money
26:26
straight up if she ever got a job as a model she’d have to work for a flat rate I mean you know I wanted to tell you a lot I
26:34
truly I wouldn’t tell you a lot we have a photograph of a horror in a bikini we have it over the mental piece it’s not
26:39
that I like to look but it keeps the kids away from the fire you know
26:45
he’s been married and in his first year he says darling
26:50
what would you like for a present
26:57
she said I’d like a stereo because music makes me
27:03
so romantic so he buys her stereo the second year he said darling what
27:09
would you like for a present
27:15
I bet they got to clean up that sequence darling
27:20
should I like some Frank Sinatra records because music music makes me
27:29
so romantic the 38 Darling what would you like should I like some Dean Martin records
27:36
this music makes me so romantic
27:45
after 16 years she’s tired I’m looking after the 16 children
27:52
and he’s tired from running around the household and stop the music stopping him ladies and gentlemen I see you again
27:59
good luck good night and God bless you to everyone again foreign
28:07
[Applause] [Music]
28:14
Doyle look at the cover of uh Family Circle for July
28:21
[Music]
28:27
and that’s the cover isn’t that an appalling picture I mean an appealing picture that’s the cover for you to look
28:33
for when you go to your Supermarket tomorrow because at Super supermarkets
28:38
the only place you’ll find Family Circle you’ll be able to buy it at the checkout Point pick up a copy and
28:45
then you’ll have something to read while you’re waiting to check out I don’t know about you but every time I
28:51
go to the supermarket the woman in the front of me has just bought enough food for the entire population of India and
28:57
it takes hours Let’s look through Family Circle uh for July and see what we have
29:03
TV repairs are you being cheated great winter soups like
29:08
like this one that looks like Greek lemon soup
29:14
it is Greek lemon soup oh no the Greeks came out on limits are they really Greeks love a play to this
29:21
Aristotle and Jackie are always having a bowl of this together yeah I think it’s
29:26
about the only thing they do have together I’m not sure uh what else is in uh Family Circle
29:34
July Family Circle has four great budget meal makers including money saving
29:39
meatloaves and some delectable desserts and there are 20 beautiful gifts to make including this cute cat
29:48
oh he’s cute too isn’t he and this cute little mouse
29:53
oh oh yes
29:59
aren’t they revolting there’s a slimming diet as well and
30:05
there’s a dictionary of antiques too you’ll enjoy the heartwarming story of
30:11
Sophia Loren’s second baby oh that’s good now she’s got two of everything it’s exclusive to Family Circle not
30:18
Sophia Loren’s second baby he’s not but the story is another fascinating story is called how
30:25
the pill saved me having any more children although I didn’t take it yes a mother tells how she held the pill
30:31
between her knees and avoided oh it’s all in Family Circle Family Circle
30:38
available only at the checkout point at your supermarket and remember the family
30:45
that circles together stays round longer
30:54
watch this ah yes oh earwigs for bald ears that is
31:03
what the world needs now is larae Desmond that’s for hello larae
31:14
thank you [Music]
31:27
it’s the only thing that there’s just
31:37
smile is [Music]
31:56
there are corn fields and wheat fears enough to grow
32:02
there are sunbeams enough to shine bonus Lords
32:10
if you wanna know [Music]
32:24
it’s the only thing that there’s just two little love what the world needs now
32:33
[Music]
32:39
but for everyone We Don’t Need Another Mountain
32:48
their apologies
32:54
[Music] [Applause]
33:02
[Music]
33:28
what the world
33:34
[Music]
33:40
[Applause] [Music]
33:53
that was larae Desmond with the GK show singers and by Heckler she was good
34:00
[Music]
34:11
who’s the vet found yet no darling and for your sake I hope the tests don’t
34:16
show that this dog of your fathers is pregnant dad will kill me if she is I mean he’s told me a thousand times never
34:23
take the dog into the park without a leash well you see darling your father knows what can happen in a park that’s
34:28
where he picked me up thank you
34:34
[Laughter]
34:41
oh ah
34:55
yes Kennedy speaking I have a message for your daughter yeah tell her the tests were positive and that she’s
35:01
pregnant fine thank you very much
35:18
my daughter pregnant oh oh it’s the biggest scandal in this
35:24
family since my sister eloped with her dressmaker Susan
35:30
I know you don’t have to say anything I’ve just had a call pregnant oh
35:35
oh can I do you seem to have done everything necessary I don’t know who the father is tell me
35:40
what I’m not quite sure Dad oh my god oh it’s bad enough to do it
35:46
but to not know did it oh dad knows about oh I do oh darling do what I
35:52
always do tell the truth unless you can pick up a really good lie my black daughter of yours apparently doesn’t
35:58
know who the father is well well we we think it was a boxer
36:06
a boxer either a boxer or a palm
36:12
my God I don’t know which is worse it wasn’t really Sue’s thought you see I
36:18
was with her in the park when it happened you
36:25
you were watching yes they’ve slapped
36:32
she ran away behind some bushes and I caught up with her it was too late
36:39
I’ve got to know who put the bun in my little daughter’s oven
36:46
describe both of them
36:54
[Music]
36:59
well you know what Palms alive yes over sex filthy beasts they’ve got morals like they’re
37:06
politicians and you’re just as bad I I ran after him and kicked his tail oh I
37:12
might have been there if I’d have been there I’d have kicked his ball he won’t help
37:17
thank you
37:26
don’t be so silly I’d be telling anyone to think it was Sue that was pregnant instead of the dog
37:34
you mean it’s I mean it’s the dog and not Sue that’s
37:40
up the Duff pregnant how could I be I’m on the pill
37:50
and where may I ask have you been getting the pill well actually I was
37:55
taking yours mum and replacing them with Aspirin
38:01
[Music]
38:06
thank you
38:15
oh this is this is an x-ray photograph of a bookworm
38:22
yeah now it’s time for Graham’s Wheels
38:28
starring bird Newton tonight a lucky contestant could win this magnificent whole page Ford Falcon
38:34
two-door hardtop featuring Hull Page’s own customized extras which includes sunroof and a V8 Falcon 500 motor coal
38:41
paid forward at the corner of Hopkins and copper Street’s footscray and in Ballarat Road Sunshine the total value
38:46
of This Magnificent motor car is 4065 also on tonight’s wheel you could win
38:52
Tylo the world’s most famous home sauna the most relaxing helpful way to relieve tension and turn up the entire system
38:58
the title prize for tonight is to the value of 500 or you could win a Phillips 20-inch portable TV with its own trolley
39:06
no matter where you are in your home you’ll be able to watch your favorite programs that’s back hello everybody
39:15
good morning
39:21
a bit of hard work easy night for me just lounging around watching a lot of people work why did you ask me before
39:27
about that man did you want to well the reason I mentioned uh to you this afternoon rehearsal a man who might always wanted to meet was Harry Griffith
39:33
oh from uh yeah from makaki Mansion worked with Roy rain and Freddie Parsons who writes a lot of your stuff that’s
39:39
right right for for Mo and I got a real thrill I I think sometimes we can become a little blase about meeting people and
39:46
when Freddie said this afternoon Harry Griffith is in the front Railway like that how did you go a little like that
39:52
did you really yeah
40:16
hey Dad Dad where are you Dad
40:26
you really do well tonight the phone’s working we think and we’ll be able to
40:31
hear why are your eyes like that oh they’re always like that no it’s such a it’s such a thrill when
40:38
we organize something with TCN and it works have a drink but never touch the other
40:45
stuff in my life no not since we flew no what were you saying well
40:53
no we have our Sydney contestants oh yes in the studios of TCN but firstly well
40:58
not in the studios but in Mr Newell’s office so that’s a step in the right direction is Mr Neal watching the show
41:04
oh I don’t even because I have a little personal message for him if he is the plane ticket hasn’t arrived yet a
41:12
very personal message but the message because it’s very important oh what for uh
41:18
oh was that promised in one of the deals
41:39
doesn’t need a phone because she’s right here oh how Mrs Beverly Johnson from Frankston
41:48
Mr Johnson did you drive up tonight oh my brother-in-law Brooklyn yes oh there’s a room for one more on the way
41:55
home yes I could hop in the back yeah just about we might do that whereabouts in Frankston oh I know where the Glen is
42:02
you know where I am yeah don’t tell anybody
42:08
that way good luck [Music]
42:21
number 18 18 on the wheels right in the center at number 18 which is a beaut one
42:27
yes I’ll tell you all about it too number 18. I just can’t get used to being one
42:33
oh from Tupperware two sets of decanter canisters eight and all four avocado
42:39
avocado four Harvest Gold both sets feature tupperware’s new quick as a wink
42:44
seal am I saying something whichever I have a couple of very lovely girls in the
42:51
audience tonight who are I think perhaps determined to laugh to the point where we might put a camera on them and we’re not going to
42:57
T he Tupperware locks in freshness like nothing else because nothing else has
43:03
the Tupperware seal Tupperware is a member of the direct selling Association of Australia which is your guarantee of
43:09
quality and service what is the name of the female lead in the film Cabaret
43:16
lies with a z you’re right thank you Mr Johnson
43:23
tonight for two at the rest point International Hotel Casino are flying all the way with
43:30
TAA TAA rest point huddle a is one not to be missed or you could win this fully mobile family dishwasher by dish master
43:37
from Frank uh Mark Raymond proprietary limited the dishmaster can handle all
43:42
your needs quickly easily and hygienically tonight a bird we’re playing for Mrs
43:48
Joyce gimba I hope it is of 48 Reynolds Avenue bankstown New South Wales with a
43:54
bit of luck when I say Hello Mrs gimbal Mr gimber will say hello Tim we’ll all
43:59
be able to hear it tonight lovely hello good evening Graham it works it’s
44:04
Mr gimba no it’s Mrs Mrs gimber yes yes he is bird Newton to say
44:11
hello good good evening Herbie
44:19
how’s that do work in Sydney I say our plan still work in Sydney yes I had
44:26
someone say good evening here Mrs Kemba how are you very well thank you you’re from 48 Reynolds Avenue in bankstown I’m
44:31
indeed you’ve got a lovely voice thank you are you married Mrs gimber yes
44:37
yes no she wasn’t married I want a site okay
44:47
does Kimber forgive bird mutant he know not what he do Mrs gimber are you really in Mr Neal’s
44:54
office yes I am what’s it like lovely beautiful furniture
45:00
why don’t they do some shows from his office then yes the appointments in his office we think are better than well Mrs
45:06
gimba um we’re going to ask Bert now to spin the wheel for you do you hope it’s a cold Joy cow I can never think of the
45:12
name well uh just be happy with most anything I think just be happy with your wife
45:19
with anything again Mrs gimbra I just didn’t hear that I’d be very happy with anything
45:26
fine here’s bird again thank you
45:33
get facing the plane ticket Mrs got that message before Oh lovely Mrs Gambar I’ll
45:39
put you back to Graham yeah can you see us by the way I indeed care he’s the little one here that’s right I’ll put
45:45
you back to Graham and then I’ll have a spin for you thank you very much because you sound nice do your best for me yeah
45:55
Instagram hang on now Mrs gimber cross your fingers and indeed you do anything you
46:02
wish [Music]
46:13
all fine oh a couple more
46:20
number five it’s best to tell you what it is this is a nice one
46:27
okay
46:43
not only that I think I’ve picked up the dibs and dabs again [Laughter]
46:50
and what will get the blame this time Mrs gimba just a moment Mrs Kimber just
46:56
hold a wrist Mrs gimba you have the chance of an unsurpassable weekend of luxury for two at any one of the
47:03
fabulous zebra motels situated in Melbourne Sydney or Brisbane your holiday begins and ends the friendly way
47:09
flying TAA in between zebra offer you their Renown Hospital in unbeatable surroundings and
47:16
amenities it really is a it’s a great price it’s a second best one it’s a wonderful prize Mrs gembe now for this
47:23
uh believe it or not oh well it’s a lovely
47:28
prizeable weekend of luxury for two at any one of the fabulous zebra motels they’re in Melbourne Sydney and Brisbane
47:34
did you hear that yes no uh Mrs Gambier holiday begins and ends the friendly way flying TAA
47:41
lovely yeah in between zebra offer you their renand hospitality and unbeatable surroundings and also there are
47:48
amenities to hear that Mrs gimba delightful good
47:54
yes now here’s your question Mrs gimber you ready quite ready all right hang on an
48:00
easy one yes it’s quite a good one um what would you rather have uh Mrs
48:06
gimba would you rather have um something to do with International
48:11
politics or would you rather have something to do with International politics both questions
48:18
are on well it looks as though I’d like internet
48:25
Mrs gimbert might I suggest take the first one yes I think Bert’s right yes
48:31
all right what do the initials I R A stand for
48:37
i-r-a yes lovely well no no take the second one but no we’ll give a time to
48:43
think is Mr Newell there is Mr Newell in the office would you ask
48:48
him about birds plane ticket Ira what’s that Ira
48:56
um we’ll come back in just one second would be the Irish Republican Army that’s
49:01
right congratulations
49:08
are you through but if you Will’s not here at all right they tell you it’s the wrong gentleman
49:15
oh just describe him to Graham who’s there just describe him describe him to Graham yeah the man who’s there
49:22
he’s got a lot of dark hair dark hair leather coat yeah leather coat quite
49:28
cool who would that be Abigail well uh I’ll put you back to Graham
49:33
bye-bye good night good night thank you pleasure
49:39
hi this is uh gimba and I do think you’re looking younger every night thank
49:44
you yeah this is gimba It’s been a delight
49:50
talking to you by radio telephone or whatever this device is keep in touch eh
49:57
now on the way out would you pay the bill it’s about 29.
50:10
looks like but she’s got such a lovely voice she has if you’d like to be on Grand Theft all
50:17
you have to do is send your entries to Graham’s wheel post office box 333 Richmond or in Sydney
50:23
all you have to do is send them to Graham’s wheel post office box 9-0 Willoughby New South Wales 206.
50:35
oh you haven’t heard your finger again you are though
50:40
hey you would have worn your knee out no it doesn’t matter around we go
50:45
oh we’re all right yeah beautiful are you well I am heavy are
50:51
you yes thank you because you’re looking oh great definitely well just one thing I want to mention I know we don’t send Cheerios but I know that there are
50:58
someone watching the program tonight who are certainly one of Australia’s favorite Sons well I’m pretty sure he’s watching even though it’s a little late
51:04
Mr Arthur call oh really in hospital in hospital and I know everyone sends their very best wishes to him oh a clap I
51:11
think yeah [Applause]
51:24
who do you have Mrs hash of Frederick Street Ashfield I have Jay Stewart of 10
51:30
and Court in broadmeadows oh what’s up what’s up I forgot to tell you again didn’t I I’ve got some good news and bad
51:36
news for you uh I’ll take the good news first okay but the good news
51:43
your solicitor rang to say that he’s got you off that parking charge that’s true
51:51
what’s the bad news well for what you were doing while you were parking the charge is right
51:57
[Music]
52:04
[Applause] amateur Cameron
52:11
no Phil Phil’s getting better at this he really this is the one that worries
52:17
ah from Eliza’s restaurant in Melbourne we bring you the Ledger men
52:23
[Applause]
52:31
shed [Music]
52:44
the words [Music]
53:03
[Music]
53:09
[Music] after all the Jews
53:14
[Music]
53:22
and it’s going to take some time [Music]
53:35
what do you get when you fall in love a good little thing to burst your bubble
53:42
that’s what you get for all your troubles I will never fall in love again
53:50
[Music] I’ll Never Fall in Love Again
53:57
don’t tell me [Music]
54:08
that is why I need to remind you [Music]
54:13
can take some time this time no matter what I’ve been I like the young trees
54:21
[Music]
54:32
and I’m on the road again and it’s going to take some time
54:41
[Music]
55:04
The Ledger men and by Heckler they were they were good too weren’t they would you like some headlines of the
55:10
future it was no good it’s a unanimous decision Brian ladies and gentlemen headlines of
55:18
the Future
55:23
these are headlines you may find in your papers 20 years from now in the year
55:30
1993 you get the idea right it’s a clever bit this we go to a
55:37
lot of trouble Church Unity is becoming far more likely that’s a quote Church Unity is becoming
55:45
far more likely this statement was made by the present Pope rabbi feyman
55:52
a man in New South Wales yesterday won first prize in the Sydney Opera House Lottery he said I’m so happy now I can
56:00
afford to buy a Holden they’ve just gone up you know so have I
56:07
I think Sydney’s Sydney’s 20 year old beer shortage ended yesterday oh it’s been 20
56:13
years that drought and sitting Sydney’s 20 year old beer shortage ended yesterday when two
56:18
thousand tons of yeast and five million pounds of hops were dumped into the harbor
56:23
[Music] TV star Abigail is back to number 96.
56:30
she said she couldn’t fit into a smaller bra
56:36
back in a minute with more of this
56:43
oh this is something brand new zip fasteners for horse flies
56:52
Ozzy Ozzy ostrich
57:01
watch this then that’s my income tax assessment cry oh I mean it’s you know the return I thought you might like to
57:07
help me fill it out like oh all right well it’s a normal salary in wages isn’t
57:13
it oh yeah I believe so yes it isn’t it four minutes where’s uh where’s your PIN okay your PIN I I don’t have a pen oh
57:20
well I’ll find one oh all of it wait a minute all right all
57:26
right hold on man steady steady whoops well you got tall fingers oh you touched
57:31
my pee in man what my person’s nose all right careful watch it watch it
57:39
watch it watch it watch it hey why don’t you cut your fingernails oh you’re not adverse to borrowing the occasional line
57:45
from Last Tango are you Aussie there we are oh you screw that back in
57:52
straight away see in the old days in the old days people used to use ostrich plumes to
58:01
write with hmm what a nice to pick a big
58:06
only worried about one thing now what’s that where are you going to dip it no
58:14
it’s uh it’s a ballpoint oh it’s a special thing all right are you ready for this right uh income tax return
58:21
income tax you’ll have to move your leg I could read this let’s see it’s very nice of you to do this that’s all right uh name uh ask what a cute ostrich
58:30
Oswald Q what’s the Q thought I played Billiards a lot
58:37
now address where do you live uh with mum well where does she live uh with me
58:44
where do you both live together all right now where were you born in bed
58:51
no whereabouts next to mum in what state
59:00
all right I don’t know now here’s the next one hit me with the next
59:06
one six occasionally
59:12
now the next one’s important occupation occupation f11
59:18
Aussie How could an ostrich be an F-111 well I spend as much time on the ground as I do
59:26
well I’ll put that down I don’t know whether the bloke will understand it all right have you been assessed before
59:34
there has been none of that in our family I wish I could say the same
59:42
what I really mean is has anyone ever taken down your particulars
59:47
that’s what I thought you said do I get on with it have you any medical deductions oh yes oh yes medical
59:54
deductions yes I had a couple of little things deducted when I was a little ostrich that explains my squeaky voice
1:00:06
tonsils out tonsils tonsils out bit dying I’ll put right now what does that
1:00:13
mean have you have you considerable income oh I have considerable incumbent my outgoing is from them
1:00:29
any children uh well I’m not too sure about that I’m a bachelor but I have been charged
1:00:35
with a few hit and run instruments
1:00:42
about education expenses that’s important education expenses education oh yes put down eighty dollars and
1:00:49
Market dinner for Abigail 80 is a lot of money to spend to spend
1:00:55
on a dinner even with Abigail oh yes but you see the waiters were expecting pretty big tips
1:01:03
[Music] I’ll just put down here he’s a lovely girl I thought he said dips
1:01:10
and did you have a nice time I had a lovely time here she inspired me actually did she answer how about Ozzy
1:01:17
how did Abigail sorry about that is all right
1:01:24
it’s all right Dad talk to me how did when you were having dinner with Abby I can’t imagine Abigail having dinner with
1:01:30
an ostrich but why did she inspire you to to to what she inspired me to write a
1:01:36
poem Aussie may we hear it of course of course here it comes down I took Abigail
1:01:42
to dinner at pegs and I gazed at her beautiful legs oh then I looked at her bust and said with great lust what a
1:01:49
place to put two ostriches
1:02:01
hey guys Aussie here’s Diane Horder now with one of my
1:02:07
favorite songs really is hope it’s one of yours as we used to say on radio thanks Diane
1:02:12
[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]
1:02:21
when nobody needs me my heart wants to
1:02:26
know and so I must go where Destiny leads me I got no starter guide me I’ve
1:02:35
got no one here beside me but I’ll go on my way out after the day the darkness
1:02:42
will hide me [Music] tomorrow I’ll know just what I’m after I
1:02:51
will throw up my sorrowful my share of laughter with you I can
1:02:58
learn to work [Music]
1:03:07
run away how can I change
1:03:14
[Music]
1:03:56
[Applause] so who can I touch
1:04:02
[Music]
1:04:07
[Applause] [Music]
1:04:17
picture [Applause] [Music]
1:04:34
[Applause] well that’s all we have for you tonight
1:04:41
I know it’s been a delight being with you but before I go this station has
1:04:47
asked me to announce that as from next week there will be a new car parking
1:04:53
arrangement for GK shows Studio audiences be pleased to hear this you’ll be able
1:04:59
to park your cars free in the grounds of channel nine but after the show if you
1:05:06
want your tires back there’ll be a nominal charge of eighteen dollars good night
1:05:14
foreign [Applause] [Music]
1:05:28
[Applause] [Music]
1:05:37
[Music] [Applause] [Music]
1:05:46
[Applause] [Music]
1:05:51
[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]
1:05:57
[Applause]
